Sunday, April 10, 2011

Cookies and Cream that doesn't suck

So I have to just start out by saying that I don't really like Cookies and Cream as an ice cream flavor. It's boring. "Cream" isn't a real flavor. It's something you add other things to and get flavor. And I don't really like Oreos for anything except pie crust.

But I was pretty much out of interesting ingredients to make ice cream with. And I wanted to make ice cream. OK, I wanted to make more ice cream. Yes, I have already made (more) margarita sorbet and coffee-fudge swirl (with a much improved coffee recipe, I might add) this weekend. But two quarts really isn't enough.

Yep, all this stuff's going in there
And lo and behold, as I went into the freezer, what should I spy? THIN MINTS! Yep, the one and only cookie that girl scouts shill that doesn't suck. Wait, wait, don't get all upset yet. There are lots of Girl Scout Cookie varietals that are good. Samoas, Tagalongs, a few others. But be honest. They suck. They're shit quality. We buy them because we can't say no to cute little girls, and because they taste like childhood. They all suck. Except Thin Mints, which somehow manage to not suck, but in fact rule.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. There they were. And I thought, "I know, I'll make Thin Mints ice cream." But that sounded a little too much like mint chocolate chip, which I also don't love. So I figured, "Fuck it, Cookies and Cream it is."

And you know what? I owned that shit. Seriously. Owned it in the way Josh Beckett owned the Yankees tonight (yes, it's a bad start to the season overall, but we just took 2 of 3 from the devil, and I still believe). Wanna know how I owned it? Perhaps even own it yourself? Just follow my easy to follow instructions. I make ice cream fun!

World's cutest baby says "Hi"
1 cup whole milk
2 cups heavy cream
3/4 cup sugar
1 cinnamon stick (DO NOT USE POWDERED CINNAMON!!!!!!!)
1/2 vanilla bean (or 1 tsp vanilla extract)
4 egg yolks
1.5 sleeves Thin Mints

Mix milk, sugar, 1/2 cup cream in a pot, heat until warm. Add the cinnamon stick. Split the 1/2 vanilla bean lengthwise and add. Heat until really warm and steaming, but not boiling. Remove from heat, allow to steep for 1 hour.

Make an ice bath, put a bowl in it. Put the remaining 1 1/2 cups of cream in the bowl. Put a wire strainer over the bowl. Leave.

Once your hour has passed, fish the vanilla out. Scrape the seeds out of the bean into the milk. Put the pod back in. Heat the whole thing till warm.

I'm too lazy to do the technical tempering of the eggs, so I just pour the yolks into the pan veeeeeerrrrrrrry slowly, while whisking very quickly. You can do the other way if you want. Either way, once it's all mixed in, stir gently with a flat spatula, scraping the bottom. The stuff will thicken. Once you can run your finger across the batch of the spatula without it running, remove from heat. It won't be custard thick. It should still be quite liquid-y. Just thick enough that it doesn't run off your spatula. Once that's the story, strain into cream. Whisk together. Let it sit for at least 3-4 hours in the fridge, until cold.

Put your custard in your mixer. Put your cookies in a food processor. Pulse them until they're about 1/2 powdered and 1/2 medium chunks. At least that's how I like it. You should do what you like. Regardless, once they're chopped to your liking and the mix is about 2/3 frozen, dump them in. Let the whole thing mix up until it's all frozey and mixey and yum. Move into a container. Freeze until firm.

My kitchen, three ice cream flavors and an Angel Food Cake later...
Yeah, that's right. It's fucking delicious. You can thank me later.

What flavor should I try next? I've got some cocktail ice cream recipes to make, but I'm always open to suggestions... Crowdsource ice cream, what?